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What If I'm Not Ready

from Bury The Lede by Dessa

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    Release date: 9/29/23

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about

Lazerbeak played in a rock band called The Plastic Constellations for years and years; they’d formed when he was a teenager and became grown-ups touring and recording together. It was really, really sweet to him with a guitar in his hands again, tracking this song and sounding like an indie rock dude. Like a lot of tracks on this record, “What If I’m Not Ready” started with a rap beat that I picked from Lazerbeak’s catalog and which was then deconstructed and rebuilt in Andy Thompson’s basement studio. Lyrically, it’s a reflection on the incompatible appetites for loving connection and unfettered independence. Since I was a kid, I’ve been very, very strong-willed. Mostly that's served me well. Occasionally it totally fucks me up.

lyrics

I ran away young
with a kite and a water gun
looking for a fight
pretty quick to find some
Hair tucked up in a Lakers cap
flip the lucky in a soft pack
smoked it last
Walking down the yellow line
g’head write your traffic ticket
I thought I was hard as fuck
I thought I was on a mission
Jump cut to the present day
still got the same sharp tongue
same long face

Pride
is my problem
I know that’s right
but that don’t solve it

I don’t like favors
I don’t like debts I can’t repay
I don’t like making
anything less than my own way
What if I’m not ready

What if I’m not ready
for all that I’ve been waiting for
Hold it all against me
push me through the only doorway
I’ve been here too long by now
and that’s how time runs out

On the phone with a friend
says worry where you're going don’t worry where you’ve been
Sounds like he’s reaching out a hand
are you reaching back to him
Maybe you’re too attached to your freedom
truth is you don’t let anybody in cuz you don’t like em leaving

My pride
is my problem
I know that’s right
but that don’t solve it

Hook

My battle cry
just one last time
My signal fire
this life of mine

My pride
is my problem
My battle cry
I don’t like favors
I don’t like debts I can’t repay
My signal fire
I don’t like making anything less than my own way
For all that I’ve been waiting for
What if I’m not ready

credits

from Bury The Lede, released September 29, 2023
Lyrics and Vocals by Dessa
Produced by Lazerbeak and Andy Thompson

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Dessa Minneapolis

Dessa is a writer and touring musician based in Manhattan and Minneapolis. Quick wit, sharp pen, soft heart.

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